Victoria Secret Models and Body image!

Hey guys its Dr. Kinky!

Victoria Secret Models piss me off beyond words. Typically I will go to VS to get some cute underwear and nice bras. They fit well and feel nice, though quite overpriced. Whether I walk into the store or check my email and get a message from them, I am bombarded with their overly airbrushed thin, tan, skinny models.

Guys and girls go to VS and sometimes even little kids with their moms! What pisses me off is that no matter what age you are, these images get stuck in your mind and change the way you think. The human mind stores every single thing you see as a picture. It is just the recall of these images that depends on the number of times you see the image. So these fake skinny models (yes, fake skinny because they are airbrushed to look that thin) are what the world views as "hot", "sexy" and "beautiful". Boys and men assume that these are how women should look in bed. Newsflash, we do not look like that. You can't be a 00 with 32D boobs and a big butt. I don't think it works that way.

These ultra photoshopped models are who we the normal women of this world have to compete with for sexual attention. It's impossible for any woman even the models to look like the women in these pictures! This is why women have to spend hours getting dressed in the morning to make sure they don't look fat. This is why jean shopping is such a hassle, because women have to make sure their thighs look skinny, but their hips look wider and their butt looks big. This is why girls with A cup boobs always feel so bad about themselves compared to their larger endowed friends. This is why some women prefer certain sexual positions to hide where they think they look fatter even if it means compromising their sexual pleasure. And cue all of the unhealthy fad diets. Eating disorders also develop as a result of the constant pressure to conform to look a certain way.

I am pretty sure that men don't have the same standards to keep up with. Most of my girlfriends, though we drool over men with six packs, prefer to have partners that don't have "perfect" abs or "perfect" features. My girlfriends feel this way, because they say it takes the pressure off of them to look perfect and amazing all the time. So they feel pressure to look perfect for men, but no matter how a man looks, he wouldn't pass up the opportunity to be with a woman who looked like the ideal beauty pageant girl. Men in my view have a preconceived notion that women are supposed to look a certain way and they look for these traits in a future partner. Women seem to be more forgiving about a male partner's looks. Sure you are a little chubby around the waste but you are such a sweetheart. Whereas men, "Sure you are a little chubby around the waste...you better give me really good blowjobs". Women can be quite mean and rude when commenting about the appearance of males, but I feel that women seem to be more forgiving than men.

I have definitely taken measures to try to conform to how society wants me to look. I get my nails done at least once a month, my hair cut by a stylist, get my eyebrows done once a month, workout, wear makeup when I want to meet guys, etc. Although I don't think I will stop doing all of these things, my view on them has changed. I no longer go out in sweats with no makeup and think omg no guy will want to approach me since I look like crap, but instead I think, if he wants to get with me he is going to have to see my when I look gorgeous but also when I look like complete shit, might as well get used to the latter.

I think women have the ability to change the parameters by which society views our beauty by working together. Why hasn't a VS model asked if VS can have an ad campaign that features real women wearing their bras and underwear? Why hasn't a VS model asked if VS would stop photoshopping her so that her thighs are unnaturally skinny? If they have, what has held back these things from happening?

Please let me know what you guys think!
Lots of love,

Dr. Kinky

"an airing of grievances if you will..."

these are not in any order of importance. just had to get these off my mind.
I DO NOT LIKE:

1. guys who add girls on facebook just because they think the girl's profile pic is hot
2. girls who give in to guys' pervertedness by ex. working at hooters, getting drunk and letting guys take advantage, beauty contests, acting slutty to get attention, flirting with guys who have girlfriends
3.girls who dye their hair blonde and get fake boobs or plastic surgery of any kind
4. guys who would date any girl
5. people who drink because they don't know how else to have fun
6. people who have sex before marriage
7. people who don't stand up for anything
8. people who don't have any beliefs or values
9. people who follow the crowd...i like leaders
10. guys who have dumbass friends
11. dumbass friends
12. guys who create facebook events like "beer, tits, rave" and invite all us freshmen girls expecting us to go and degrade ourselves for their amusement.
13. girls who go to these parties
14. people who don't listen
15. guys who just want to nail a girl
16. guys who treat you well for the first six months and then don't bother to open a door or be sweet to you afterwards
17. guys who just do what everyone else tells them
18. people who are controlling
19. people who are too dependent
20. people who sabotage themselves and then claim to be victims
21. people who don't think before they act
22. guys who don't get this:
      gf: hey are you coming over tonight
     bf: no, im going home
     gf: oh..ok :(
     bf: yeah so whats up
     gf:....(thinking wtf? did he not get that i wanted him to come over?)
     bf: (clearly lost because he cant take a hint by reading the frown on his gf's face when he said he
            wasn't coming over or by her sad response) DUHHHHH
            THINK, DUDE, THINK!
     Gf goes home by herself and thinks of how he must not want to be with her. Guy could have just said             he wanted to go home and see his friends. or he could see she was upset by him saying no and come over.

23. Guys who are too macho
24. Mommy's boys
25. guys who go to strip clubs
26. people who do drugs
27. people who smoke
28. guys who watch porn
29. guys who sext random chicks
30. guys who checkout other girls when they have a gf
31. guys who go to hooters
32. guys and anyone who lies to someone and hurts them
33. people who cheat
34. people who are passive aggressive
35. people who are cowards
36. people who don't fight for what they love/ who they love
37. quitters. life takes determination.

Family.

Seriously, what is family?
A) Dysfunctional
B) Controlling
C) Loving
D) All of the above

Depending on how you answer this multiple choice question, family could be just one specific thing to you, or they could be everything. Family can be anything from the people who don't care what you do to the people who control every single thing. Family can be the people who beat you down until you have no self esteem or the people who coddle you and make you think you're God's gift to the earth. Family can be the people who go their separate ways, making their own individual marks on the world. Or, they can be the people who must do everything together.

To me, they are the people who butt into your life and never stop bothering you, even after they ruin life as you knew it. They drive you crazy until you leave them, and once you do, whaddaya know? It's not them that are lonely, it's you. And believe it or not, you still miss them. Or at least you miss how they used to be. Before all this insanity. Before life. It's like you knew them before they were alive and miss the people they were then. When they were pure. When they were people who hadn't lied to you for your entire existence. However, you are the lonely one, they have each other. To gang up on you. And they never apologize. Even if their actions caused you to move away and not speak to them for years at a time. Your whole life, they've told you to toughen up and get over things. And now you know why. They were just preparing you for what they were going to put you through.

              I realized all of this in my mind on the way home tonight. I had just gone out with my boyfriend and his family (who is of course much different than mine). His family is very involved. They want to know everything he's doing, who it's with, and why, why, why??? They are like detectives that inspect his life and maids that clean it up. He has one of those mothers that has done everything for him and always will. On the surface, it seems so great. It's like wow, this sweet family does everything together. But underneath that, it appears to be a bit controlling. And although it is controlling, it is never him that they criticize. Nothing is ever his fault. It is the people around him to blame. If something is wrong, it is his friends' fault. or my fault. or the coach's fault. or the teacher's fault. or the fault of circumstance. Coming from a family, where I have always been criticized, I feel like this guy is going to have a rude awakening when he gets to the real world. But then I realized that I was wrong. He will never live in the real world. He lives in this cocoon that his family has built. Where they all live. And part of me loves that. He never has to face anything alone. He is always in the right, even when he's wrong. He's always happy, even when he's sad. 

However, part of me is scared of it. It's almost a scenario from the Stepford Wives. It's not reality. It's Disney World. And while Disney World is a great place, who wants to live there? I suppose it would be nice to have someone do everything for you, but how do you ever learn to do anything for yourself? You would never know how to speak up for yourself, and it's not like you can call your mom or dad to come and take care of it. I mean, I suppose you could, but that would just be embarrassing. You are about to be unleashed into the world to go to college and havent been away from your cocoon of family for more than four days. Is that really how most kids are when they leave for college? or am i just that bizarre kid who was away from their family all the time? Perhaps I am too independent, but i have never known anything else but being away from my family for weeks at a time during the summer, and now years at a time. 

Perhaps I just don't like the concept of family. I don't want to be forced into awkward family situations, family reuinions, parties, etc. I never know what to say. I don't like being around someone who I have to pretend to like or care about. I don't like pretending to like things or places that I don't actually like. I feel that family should be the people that you choose. The people who like you for who you are and what makes you who you are. Not for who you pretend to be or what you pretend to like. For me, family is my group of closest friends. I rely on nobody else but me.